Thursday, September 3, 2009

When My family and I travel

When my family and I travel we always like to go to the same place. Clayton Georgia, it is beautiful up there. I have been going up there since I was a baby, and will continue to go until I’m too old or to feeble. I love everything about it in the morning, in the afternoon, and even the cold nights.
The mornings are wonderful. I always wake up to the lovely sound of the birds chirping their sweet melody. The refreshing smell of the unpolluted morning air with a gentle hint of Christmas tree pines. As soon as I wake up I feel as if I’m in a state of tranquility. The soothing warmth of the morning fire and the miraculous taste of the breakfast cooked over the open fire and the crisp fresh taste of the mountain water.
As the cool morning air turns into the comforting warmth of the afternoon sun, my family and I began getting ready for our annual hiking trip down the serene mountain side. The trail is a long narrow uneven dirt path that runs along the cool mountain river. The relaxing sounds of crickets chirping and the frogs croaking give me the ability to clear my mind of everything except the beautiful vision of the grassy green leaves on the trees above. As we approach the end of the trail, we stop to take a break before turning around. I rest my feet on the silky smooth rocks at the bottom of the cool mountain stream. As I sit there I feel the grainy sand from the bottom of the stream rising up between my toes I can’t help but think to myself , “ this is paradise.”
As evening approaches and the blacking of night is only a short time away, now is the time to start catching our evening meal. My Dad and I head off, wading down the cold slippery stream with the rough grip of our fishing rods in the palm of our hands. We are moving over and around the numerous rocks, which is the only thing standing in our way of the rapidly swimming rainbow colored mountain trout that lie beneath the waters crystal clear surface. I place my line just beyond one of the brightest most colorful trout around. He takes the bait. He tugs on my tightened line and I am filled with excitement, very anxious to bring the colorful trout up on the mud wet bank. With enough trout for diner, we head back to camp, where we will cook and eat the delicious trout. After eating my family and I turn in for the night.

4 comments:

  1. Hi Sarah, for one I must agree Clayton, GA is Amazing I went there last year.
    I understand the purpose of your paper. Well it seems like the purpose is for us to understand how you feel about Clayton, and how your family is really close and you all love this trip.

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  2. You accurately describe just how you feel when you are in Clayton. Some pronouns are underused and overused, but a little work would alleviate that. I really could feel the serenity you do when you're there; great use of descriptive language!

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  3. Wow, this place sounds like paradise! I think you did a good job at describing it and making it very clear and understandable for the reader. I didn't have any difficulty in understanding and I think overall, it's a very good essay!

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  4. Good start for the semester; I think your commentators found the positive in your essay and gave you some good ideas of what you could improve to make it better. Good start all round!

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